Almost time!

Well, its Monday morning and I really thought I wasn't going to make it this far without going into full blown labor, but here I am. I have really been uncomfortable and in and out of pain for the past week (Back pain, cramps, you name it.) This may be TMI but I also lost my mucus plug over the weekend, a little bit at a time which seems to have made no difference so far. Each day I hope that something will start happening, b/c I don't think I can wait past Thursday. I am so exhausted and I'm so ready for her to be here, I'm starting to feel like she doesn't want to come out! ha! I start having pains and wonder is this it and then it stops as if to say just kidding mommy I'm too comfortable in here to come out!

I've been so emotional the past few days too, I could cry right now for no apparent reason and that is so unlike me. I know it has a lot to do with the hormones and pregnancy, but those of you who really know me know that I'm not that emotional of a person and that I always keep my composure. I'm not sure why I'm that way, but I sure don't like this feeling of the emotional roller coaster that I'm on right now. I guess I hate feeling out of control when it comes to getting upset. I lost it yesterday for no reason, except that Aidan was having another meltdown and it started to scare me thinking about having a baby and a toddler that is starting to go through the "terrible twos" and wondering can I handle this? I know that I can, but I just had a moment where I just didn't know what to do and I was so tired and achy that I was having trouble dealing with the situation. I haven't even had my second child and I already feel the exhaustion both mentally and physically of having two babies. Don't get me wrong I am so excited about having two children and that Aidan will have a sibling, it just scares me at the same time b/c I hope I can be a good mother and teach them both all the things they need to know. There I go, tears!

This whole experience has really made me look at my mother, aunts, grandmothers who have all had multiple children close in age and really, really admire them for doing such a great job and not losing it in the meantime! Esp. since they were all so young when they did it. I feel like I have a little advantage for being older, b/c I can't imagine doing this in my early 20s.

Even though Aidan is going through some terrible twos he can still be the sweetest thing in the world. When I'm laying on the couch and he wants to get up and snuggle with me or leans in for a kiss or leans in to give Chris a kiss, makes me cry every time he does it. So, it just throws both Chris and I when Aidan can be so sweet and adorable one minute and then the "devil" the next minute. Toddlers will definitely test your patience, anyone who thinks that having a baby under one year is tough, just wait....you are in for a treat! ha! Or I should say even if your baby was like Aidan who was the best baby ever, never cried for no reason was always happy go lucky, just a sweetie pie, which is maybe why I'm out of sorts when he acts up b/c I so not used to him being that way. I know its just a phase and hopefully wont last too long, but what do I know it could last a while, yikes! I'll just have to take one day at a time.

Well, I'm ready to have this baby, I may end up having any unnecessary c-section in the end b/c I don't think I can physically handle the acid reflux, the constant pains, no sleep (I end up sitting up most of the night b/c of the acid reflux and just not being able to get comfortable). I am ready for the night time feedings at least once those are done I can get a good hour or two of solid sleep. I was feeling so great most of this pregnancy and now the past two weeks or so have been very difficult. Its hard to even walk around without feeling so much pressure down there like she's just going to fall out! All I seem to want to do is lay down which is hard when I have an almost 2 year old who is demanding my attention. Whew! Well, amazingly I'm still at work, but not sure if I will make it through Wednesday, I may end up starting my maternity early, we'll see.

I'll keep everyone up to date if anything new happens. I have my last OB appt tomorrow morning, so I'll let you know if there are any changes! :)