Almost time!

Well, its Monday morning and I really thought I wasn't going to make it this far without going into full blown labor, but here I am. I have really been uncomfortable and in and out of pain for the past week (Back pain, cramps, you name it.) This may be TMI but I also lost my mucus plug over the weekend, a little bit at a time which seems to have made no difference so far. Each day I hope that something will start happening, b/c I don't think I can wait past Thursday. I am so exhausted and I'm so ready for her to be here, I'm starting to feel like she doesn't want to come out! ha! I start having pains and wonder is this it and then it stops as if to say just kidding mommy I'm too comfortable in here to come out!

I've been so emotional the past few days too, I could cry right now for no apparent reason and that is so unlike me. I know it has a lot to do with the hormones and pregnancy, but those of you who really know me know that I'm not that emotional of a person and that I always keep my composure. I'm not sure why I'm that way, but I sure don't like this feeling of the emotional roller coaster that I'm on right now. I guess I hate feeling out of control when it comes to getting upset. I lost it yesterday for no reason, except that Aidan was having another meltdown and it started to scare me thinking about having a baby and a toddler that is starting to go through the "terrible twos" and wondering can I handle this? I know that I can, but I just had a moment where I just didn't know what to do and I was so tired and achy that I was having trouble dealing with the situation. I haven't even had my second child and I already feel the exhaustion both mentally and physically of having two babies. Don't get me wrong I am so excited about having two children and that Aidan will have a sibling, it just scares me at the same time b/c I hope I can be a good mother and teach them both all the things they need to know. There I go, tears!

This whole experience has really made me look at my mother, aunts, grandmothers who have all had multiple children close in age and really, really admire them for doing such a great job and not losing it in the meantime! Esp. since they were all so young when they did it. I feel like I have a little advantage for being older, b/c I can't imagine doing this in my early 20s.

Even though Aidan is going through some terrible twos he can still be the sweetest thing in the world. When I'm laying on the couch and he wants to get up and snuggle with me or leans in for a kiss or leans in to give Chris a kiss, makes me cry every time he does it. So, it just throws both Chris and I when Aidan can be so sweet and adorable one minute and then the "devil" the next minute. Toddlers will definitely test your patience, anyone who thinks that having a baby under one year is tough, just wait....you are in for a treat! ha! Or I should say even if your baby was like Aidan who was the best baby ever, never cried for no reason was always happy go lucky, just a sweetie pie, which is maybe why I'm out of sorts when he acts up b/c I so not used to him being that way. I know its just a phase and hopefully wont last too long, but what do I know it could last a while, yikes! I'll just have to take one day at a time.

Well, I'm ready to have this baby, I may end up having any unnecessary c-section in the end b/c I don't think I can physically handle the acid reflux, the constant pains, no sleep (I end up sitting up most of the night b/c of the acid reflux and just not being able to get comfortable). I am ready for the night time feedings at least once those are done I can get a good hour or two of solid sleep. I was feeling so great most of this pregnancy and now the past two weeks or so have been very difficult. Its hard to even walk around without feeling so much pressure down there like she's just going to fall out! All I seem to want to do is lay down which is hard when I have an almost 2 year old who is demanding my attention. Whew! Well, amazingly I'm still at work, but not sure if I will make it through Wednesday, I may end up starting my maternity early, we'll see.

I'll keep everyone up to date if anything new happens. I have my last OB appt tomorrow morning, so I'll let you know if there are any changes! :)

38 weeks today!

Hi everyone, I am 38 weeks today and am really starting to feel uncomfortable. I went for my checkup yesterday and it was mostly routine, they talked about my upcoming c-section on the 27th, made my pre-op appt for next Wednesday morning, but they weren't going to check me since I had a scheduled c-section. So, I asked the dtr to anyways mainly b/c I was curious, I didn't get checked one time with Aidan at the end and really would have liked to have known if I was dilated at all with him. So, they did and I am 1 cm dilated and 50-60% effaced or thinned out. Not much I know, but things have started at least. I realize that if I decided to not have the c-section I could stay at a 1 or 2cm for days or weeks. I have been having some cramping on and off, so its not like nothing is happening, but its definitely not full blown labor either. It does excited me that my body has started its preparation for labor and that it could possibly happen before next Thursday. But, I know the odds are that I probably wont. Even though my water did break with Aidan at the beginning of my 38th week! But, this pregnancy is already different in that I didn't have any cramping or pains before my water broke and I've had pains on and off for the past week.

I've had the strangest experience with this practice, in that, I have seen a different dtr every time and most of the time they have to work me in b/c I end up coming on a day that the dtr I was suppose to see if off delivering a baby. So, I haven't really gotten to know one particular dtr really well to say who my primary dtr is. I did like talking to the dtr I saw yesterday, Dr. Kaplan, such a sweet little man. He apparently is a big advocate of VBACs and said that he thought I should not have any problems having one if I went into labor on my own. He also wants me to come back in next Tuesday to get checked again and if things have progressed at all I can make the decision whether or not to postpone my surgery and see if I can do it on my own. I'm so torn as to what to do, I think a lot of my decision will be based on how I'm feeling that day. I've talked to Chris about it and he so wants me to have the c-section, he did admit to me that he doesn't want to see me in the pain of labor and I think it scares him to be that out of control and to not be able to help me.

I do like that the choice is ultimately up to me, but it also makes it difficult to decide what would be best. Ideally a vaginal birth would be better for recovery time, but my fear is that I start labor and things don't progress and I end up having a c-section anyways. I definitely don't want to have an emergency c-section. But, part of me feels like I've missed out not having a vaginal birth and the other part knows what to expect out of a planned c-section. I guess I'm just going to wait and see what happens over the next few days and then make my final decision next Tues or Wed. Whatever I end up deciding I just want my little Emma to get here safely. I wish I wasn't so wishy washy! :)

Getting closer! Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Well, its Monday the 17th and we're still here. I did have some unusual pains on Friday evening that took me by surprise. I wasn't really sure what to think about them but I did what they tell you to do and I laid down on my side and drank plenty of water and they eventually went away. So, I'm guessing they were some braxton hicks contractions since they weren't consistent and they went away eventually. I've had some other pains on and off but nothing consistent, so maybe this means my body is gearing up for labor, I'm not sure?

I did do a lot of cleaning this weekend, I couldn't seem to get enough done. My mom came over and helped me ALOT with some things I have been meaning to do but just haven't gotten around to like hanging pictures of my first born whos almost 2 now! Such a slack mommy! I do feel so much better now that we have his pictures up on the walls and we got Emma's letters hung up in her room. I know I wouldn't have gotten any of that done without my Mom's help, Thank you Mom! I also did tons of laundry and actually put things away, something I haven't done in a while! ha! I also packed my hospital bag, so I feel more official and ready for things to start happening if they want to.

I have been feeling great most of this pregnancy, but I'm at that final stage where I can definitely say I'm uncomfortable and ready for her to come. My hubby is so ready for me to not make so much noise when I sleep! I can't stand for very long or walk around too much without feeling sooo much pressure down there like she is just going to plop out! eeek! I go back for my last dtr appt on Wednesday and they also called me and made my pre-op for the next Wednesday in which I think they do all the labs and everything to prepare me for the next morning!

I'll keep everyone posted! :)

37 weeks today!

Well, I'm 37 weeks today and am starting to feel it. I went for my checkup this morning and everything is still going good, except that I measured 42 weeks! eeek! The dtr told me that it was a good idea that I had a scheduled c-section in 2 weeks, if I make it! I haven't had any contractions or anything that would make me think labor was near, so I just might make it to the 27th. My ankles are starting to swell a little, but they were much worse when I was pregnant with Aidan, I was swollen all over with him at the end. Its so weird how you can feel when you are starting to swell, or atleast I can tell when my ankles are going to swell. For some reason its my left ankle more than my right, which is really attractive! Ha! All in all this has really been a great pregnancy and I can' t believe its already coming to an end. It seemed like an eternity before we found out the sex of the baby and once we found that out it has zoomed by! I'm sure partly because I have been busy with Aidan, but these last few months have really gone by quickly.

I have been going to a book club meeting for several months now with some new and old girlfriends and its so much fun to take time out of my busy week and get together with friends and talk about the book we just read or just eat and hang out. One of the girls that comes has started her own web store selling beautiful burp cloths and baby leg warmers. Check out her site! I wish I had some of these baby leg warmers when Aidan was a baby, but I definitely am getting some for Emma. You can put them on with a onesie and it makes diaper changing a breeze!

36 1/2 weeks.....

Hi everyone! I am still here! 36 1/2 weeks along and still feeling relatively good. I tire out so easily these days, there are so many things I want to do before Emma arrival, but I'm starting to realize that I probably wont get to them all and that's okay. I go back for another dtr appt. this Thursday the 13th when I'll officially be 37 weeks. I'm really starting to wonder whether or not I'll make it to the 27th! I hope we do, I really don't want her to come early, but I know if she does she will be fine. Just like with her brother Aidan, I will miss having her safe and snug inside me. There is just something about being pregnant and knowing that your baby is safely inside you, I will also miss this big belly of mine! ha! The one thing that is the hardest right now is sleep or lack there of! I know that when Emma comes I wont be sleeping much, but atleast the short naps I will get will be sound and comfortable. I just can't seem to get comfortable right now and its so hard for me to breathe.

Each day I wonder when she is going to make her debut! I also wonder what she will look like and if she will look like Aidan did when he was first born. So many things go through my mind right now, esp. since I have a toddler at home and I worry how he will react and how I will manage two little ones at the same time. I know I will have the help of my loving family at first, but there will be a point where I'll have to figure it out on my own. I worry most about my mornings when I have to go back to work after maternity, mainly b/c I will be doing it all myself. Chris has to go in to work so early in the morning he wont be able to help me out, he leaves around 5 am, so I may just have to get up when he gets up so I can get out of the house at a decent time. I know I'll figure it out, I just can't help but playing it through my mind over and over. Maybe that's why I can't sleep?! ha!

On another note, my sister and new baby Carter are at home and doing well and she has started a blog page for Carter, but its private, so if you are interested in seeing his blog, please email her at jennchsm@gmail.com to get an invitation to his blog.

March is here! 35 1/2 weeks

Hi everyone, its hard to believe it already March! I had another appt. today and they did an u/s to see if they could tell how big Emma was getting. They are estimating her to be around 6 1/2 pounds give or take some ounces either way. So, we talked to the dtr and decided to go ahead and schedule a c-section for my 39th week. I really don't want to go past my due date if she is going to continue to get bigger and bigger. Yikes! But, if she decides to come early we are just going to play it by ear and see how labor progresses. So, unless Emma decides to arrive early her estimated arrival will be on Thursday, March 27th! I have a feeling that she will come sometime the 3rd week of March, but that's just me. All we can do now is wait and see!

On another note, if you don't know my nephew Carter got released from the hospital last friday and is at my mom's house with my sister and her husband. They will be leaving to go back to Texas this Wednesday. Its so hard to believe that he is going to be going home, but I know my sister can't wait to get him home! He's grown to about 4 1/2 pounds now and we'll find out tomorrow how much more he has gained since he left the hospital on friday. He's really doing so well and he really has been such a fighter through it all! His original due date was March 22nd, so he's doing well as far as his weight goes and is just the cutest and sweetest thing! I'm so happy for my sister and Doug! They so deserve to have their family together finally!